Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN!

(c) tumblr

meh is the only way to describe this post.

So tomorrow is my first day back at school after around 5 years or near about. The reason that I've not been in school is because of my OCD and anxiety but I won't bore you all to death with the details. Today it sort of sunk in that I was returning for my 6th year of high school, the last year I could possibly get any more qualifications with my friends around me for support. I went shopping today with my best friend and got the rest of the school stuff I needed (pens, binder, bag, return trousers ect) and I seriously wanted to hide in one of the dressing rooms and make sure that people wouldn't find me. I really do not know why school makes me so nervous even if it is just for an hour a day and for a class I really enjoy. Wish me luck bloggers? meh!

Re-buying an awesome product makes me smile!

So I know I promised in the video I posted on my channel that I would post pictures of what I had recently bought from Boots but sadly my camera has no battery and the charger has decided to go for a walk and I have no idea where it has chosen to go. Around 2 months ago, I purchased the Revlon Photo Ready foundation and loved it straight away. On Friday, I got my second bottle! Before using Revlon I was in love with the N07 Foundation but was trying out Mac's Studio Fix Fluid (which I hate). Considering the Mac foundation was breaking me out I was in need to a foundation to cover all the redness and spots that had appeared, even if it was summer and thats the traditional time to not wear as much foundation.

Revlon describes this product as "Airbrushed skin in any light, complete coverage. Oil Free, Fragrance Free" And I would agree. In pictures it makes my skin look flawless for the first time ever but in real life I found it makes the skin around blemishes dry a bit too much which makes me look a little cracked at the end of the day. Maybe thats just by concealer or power though! I am in the shade 002 Vanilla and I found that it matches my skin a lot better than any foundation I've tried, not making me too orange or too pale that I look ill. Now that I look at it after a lot of uses, it isn't as glittery as some people have said it too be, granted it does leave some glitter on my hands if I lean on my face. But maybe thats my fault and not the products, it would probably stay on my skin if I wasn't so lazy.

Out of 10, I would probably give this foundation an 8. The deduction coming from the cracking of it near the end of the wear. What are your thoughts on this foundation if you are using it or have given it a bash and not found it to work for you?

Next hair appointment, I know what I'll be doing

When Cheryl Cole debuted her red locks on the X Factor last week I was immediately envious. For the longest time that I can remember, I've wanted red hair. I love changing the colour of my hair and the change in style that it can bring to your life just with a bit of dye amazes me and Cheryl's hair is exactly what I saw when I pictured dying my hair red. Cheryl, in all honesty, has been my biggest hair envy for years. Personally, my hair is very very blah and limp. If anything I would pray for bigger, volumized hair but that won't happen considering I managed to be lucky enough to get my dad's insanely thin hair.


Cheryl to me knows what she needs to do to keep her hair healthy and that is something I admire. A lot of girls these days straighten their hair until there isn't anything left, they glue fake hair onto their scalp which kills their natural locks. Cheryl may wear hair extensions but with the people around her I'm sure she has the knowledge to keep her hair intact for the years to come and I want that for my hair. Right now, my hair is dark brown and a few inches below my shoulders, if one day I could have hair like Cheryl, I would be a very happy girl.

If I could make one thing come true.

It would be to find a cure for Cancer. When I was 8 years old, my mother was diagnosed with Cancer, a brain tumor to be exact. A few years later, my Grandmother, her mother, died of lung cancer after smoking for many many years. My mum then went into remission. Within a year or so, my Grandfather passed away due to grief of losing my Grandma. When I was 11, my dad's mother, died of an infection after having ovarian cancer. When I was 12, my mother's cancer returned. She was placed into remission again when I was 13, but now at age seventeen, the tumor has grown. With over one thousand people watching my videos on youtube, I reach out to everyone who may have or had relatives going through this horrible illness. I fear every single day of my life that I could have Cancer when I am older and I know a lot of girls who do. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month but I say we have an awareness to all forms of cancer that effect people every single day of our life. Charities and hospitals all over the world are attempting to find a cure for this and I wish it would come sooner for my mum's sake and every other person in the world.

It breaks my heart to see my mother so weak, unable to walk when I remember her being the most active person I knew. She was the chairperson of my school parents committee. She was the parent who came to every field trip without fail to help out. She organized fairs and fundraisers. We done normal mother daughter things that aren't possible anymore. Like going into town for a day and shopping without having to call my dad to pick us up because she feels ill or I can't control her wheelchair anymore. She cant write christmas cards, every year I do it for her. She can't do what she wants to do.

What makes it worse is to know that kids my age and younger are suffering from this. That they cannot lead a normal life and run around and experience what I was lucky enough to. Knowing some people on the internet and how selfish some people are. People will think that me telling this to you, is looking for pity, like how my secrets video was me wanting to make people feel bad. Its not. It's trying to boost awareness and using what you have to try to reach out to people who may be in the same situation. If I knew someone who had a mother going through this right now, I know I'd be there for them even if I didn't know their name. A family with a member or a friend suffering from this is connected to another. Nobody will know how hard it is until you or someone you know goes through it. It's the same with my Mental Health issues. People say, you'll be fine, you can do it, just stop it. But you can't. My mum cannot just stand up when she feels like it and walk. She would fall over. I cannot stop washing my hands and know straight away my hands are clean. I would panic. So this blogpost is something to show people just an inch of how hard things can be and I hope that some people find it in their hearts to donate or to do something for a charity or hospital that is yearning to find a cure. Put yourself in my mums shoes. You lie in your bed all day, you have nurses who have to help you, you can't walk. Think about that before you say that I'm just looking for pity, if you were in the same situation, I think you'd need a place to post how you really feel too since in real life, if you say it out loud, you'll risk upsetting someone.

Think about it. Think before you speak or in this case type.